Confessions of an Artist Pt 1

(Originally published in 2012)

Artists: We are misunderstood creatures that are led by our emotions, dreams, and will to succeed in doing what we feel we were placed on this earth to do.  

Our emotions sometimes get the best of us because we have to call upon them at a moment's notice to entertain, teach, motivate, and persuade. Therefore, the famous saying is in order, "We wear our emotions on our sleeves."  Though it does wonders for our professional careers, it often is the downfall of our personal lives. We fall in and out of love quickly leaving a trail of broken hearts behind or the reverse, a trail of broken pieces from our own hearts.  It's challenging to find someone who loves us for us and not because of who we are, who we know, or what we can give. This paranoia dictates the choice of our partners, friends, and loved ones. But once we find someone who loves the many sides of our personality, encourages us to follow after our dream and supportive when the rough times come, and they will come because we all know the rocky road we have to travel in this business, we will have a friend and partner for life.

I doubt if anyone will "get" me entirely and I say this because there are many times I don't "get" myself. Decisions I’ve made, friendships that were formed and opportunities passed on completely baffle me even this very second. Though I don’t regret one single career or personal move because I know what God has for me is for me, I still find myself in a mental battle wrestling over things I no longer have control over.  You can call it one of my personal demons if you will.  Slowly but surely, I am trying to get that part of me back on track…still a work in progress.  Observation is a gift many artists have. We are great at reading people like books, whether it's because we're looking to create a new character because we find them interesting or just because we like to jump into the lives of others to escape our own.  Sometimes we are spot on, and other times we miss the mark as if we're legally blind. I'm currently in that legally blind predicament.  My readings have been so off that I don't even want to meet anyone new anytime soon.  Since this year started, I have made error after error, and I'm just tired of also trying. This goes for my professional and personal life.  But like I mentioned earlier, I could just end up changing my mind tomorrow because I wear my emotions on my sleeves.

Some of the most brilliantly talented artists we all know and love are completely different in real life than what we see on the screen and stage. Many people get to see this when their favorite artists do interviews and make appearances. I love being the center of attention while filming or on stage…other than that I'd rather not be seen or heard.  I love my privacy, my alone time with God (which has been a lot lately) and away from the negative noise and chatter that can so easily influence the body of work I'm trying to create.  It's crucial as an artist to not be exposed to so much stuff to where we're not focused on our craft and talent. When the focus is lost our creative ability can soon follow. We wonder why some music artists put out albums every two years or so, why some actors are never seen or heard from until they have a movie or television show premiering, it's because we're honing our skills and perfecting the gifts that we so freely give back to the world around us. We love what we do, and though it has its perks and downfalls, we wouldn't trade the gifting for anything in the world. 

Artists: We are misunderstood creatures that are led by our emotions, dreams and will to succeed in doing what we feel we were placed on this earth to do. 

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